Moving Forward
by JulieM
Summary: Summary: This is just my take on what might have happened, had JAG continued…Set an undetermined amount of time in the future...COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Spoilers: Putting this first, just in case. Um, the series ender; Fair Winds and Following Seas. But how many people haven't actually heard about how JAG ended? If you haven't and don't want to know then stop reading this now. Also deals with the events in episodes; 'Yeah Baby', 'Jag-San Diego' and 'Four Percent Solution.'

Summary: Set an undetermined amount of time in the future, and it is unclear whether Harm and Mac ended up in London or San Diego after FW&FS. During this story, they are living in the US, but outside of DC. However, the setting is not really a focus in this story. This is just my take on what might have happened, had JAG continued…

Rating: I'd say an M, but I'm never good at this sort of thing.

Category: Harm/Mac shipper.

Disclaimer: JAG does not belong to me. Also, I don't make any money from what I write (if only!) I just get to exercise my imagination so that it doesn't get too out of control!

OOOO

Part 1

Mac sat at her desk, immersed in paperwork and determined to keep her mind off the events of that morning.

"Ma'am," her petty officer buzzed through to her, "The Admiral is on line one to speak to you."

"Thank you," Mac answered, before picking the phone, "Harm?"

"Hey, how are things going, today?" he greeted her.

"It's not too bad, yet," Mac answered, "But it's still relatively early, there's still time. I've got three junior and two senior officers in court and several of them seem to operate much like you used to, so I'm keeping myself prepared. How's life on the hill?"

"Interesting…"

Mac could hear from her husband's tone that there was a story behind that. She could also tell that he had noted her reluctance to discuss her personal wellbeing, which is what he had actually been enquiring about. But from the background noise around him, she knew he was not in the position to pursue it, right now. Well, she'd have a heck of a lot to deal with, later, but she was glad to avoid it for the minute. It wasn't like she didn't know for sure, but the phone call was a necessary formality and she felt she couldn't say anything until she received it.

"Well, you play nicely, now," she teased him, knowing he was unable to get her back, "I'll expect to hear these stories of yours when I see you at home, tonight."

"You will," Harm told her, quietly adding, "and I want to hear yours."

"Yep," Mac kept her voice level and nonchalant, "will do. See you tonight."

It was twenty minutes later when the call came and although it was nothing she didn't already know, it still hit her hard.

When her petty officer knocked to enter, a few minutes later, she quickly pulled herself together and wiped away all traces of her tears. If Petty Officer Moreno noticed her eyes were red-rimmed and watery, she didn't say, but Mac asked her if she could bring some antihistamines, just in case she did and suspected anything other than hay fever.

Later that afternoon, she got a call from her adopted daughter Mattie, asking if she was free for a long lunch. Mattie had come into flown in from a vacation the night before, but had plans with the friends she had been traveling with, so this was the first opportunity Mac had to see her face-to-face in nearly a month. She readily agreed and requested Petty Officer Moreno push back her appointments by a couple of hours. After a good half-hour spent trying to get herself into marine-mode again, she stepped out.

They met at a seafood place the three of them had become fond of, before Mattie's first deployment to the Seahawk. Mac negotiated a fine line between being a parent and being a marine. Mattie wasn't in uniform, but she was and the last thing she could do right now was let her marine stoicism drop.

"Are you okay?" Mattie asked, a little while into their lunch.

"Of course I am," Mac smiled at her, "Why do you ask?"

"You just…I dunno, you seem kind of quiet," Mattie regarded her, covertly.

"Just a long day," Mac shook her head, "and an even longer afternoon ahead of me. But seeing you is the best medicine. Your Dad and I have really missed you…"

Mattie smiled and hugged the woman who had become as much a mother to her as her biological Mom had been.

"I was speaking to Dad, earlier," Mattie mentioned, "He said that you and he are waiting to hear back from the doctors."

"Yeah," Mac successfully resisted the urge to flinch, "they should be calling today or tomorrow."

She hated lying to Mattie, but she needed some time to process this.

"You and Dad excited?" Mattie asked.

"Nervous, I guess," Mac told her, "but I'm trying not to get my hopes too high…"

Both she and Harm would have to come to terms with this news and decide where to go from there, before they broke it to Mattie. She might now be fully-grown and a legal-man aboard the Seahawk, but there was no way that this would fail to devastate her. And with her shipping out in less than a week, there was no way Mac could see of telling her now. She didn't know what she were going to tell her in the meantime, but she just couldn't tell her, yet.

Mattie just nodded in understanding and changed the topic, telling Mac all about her holiday with her friends. Mac laughed in all the right places and listened carefully as Mattie told of her excitement to getting back aboard the Seahawk for a second tour. To think that Mattie had originally wanted to fly for the Navy, she sure was enjoying being a legal-man. She'd always had a sensible, analytical head on her shoulders, but flying had been her first love, yet now, she couldn't seem to imagine herself doing anything other than practicing law. She'd get another cruise under her belt, before applying to one of the regional JAG headquarters. She'd be able to take night-classes at the same time and hopefully pass the bar-exam in the appropriate state.

When Mac returned to her office, after lunch, she was launched into a back-to-back series of important meetings, so she had to pretty much act on autopilot for the rest of the day.

Harm had told her that his plane would be in around 0430, but he still wasn't around by the time she got home at 0630, so she assumed that the flight had been delayed. She discovered that the answer machine held messages, so pressed the play button. The doctor had obviously called here before he'd gotten through to her at work, because his was the only message waiting for her.

"Admiral, Colonel, I'm afraid your test results have come back negative. Why don't we give it another month or two to recover from everything then schedule another appointment, to talk about options still open to us? If you'll call me, we'll set something up, ahead of time…"

Mac was tempted to press the erase button, but Harm had as much right to hear the message as she did, even though she thought the news should probably come from her first.

With a sigh, she kicked off her shoes and dropped her briefcase and cover, before heading to the bathroom for a nice, hot shower.

She was still standing under the hot spray twenty minutes later, trying to get her game plan together, when she heard the bathroom door close. She looked up and out through the shower screen to see her husband, still in uniform, standing still, just watching her. She didn't need any more than a second or two studying him to know that he knew. He must have checked the answer machine when he got in, even if the light wasn't flashing.

Without a word, he began to strip off his own uniform, leaving behind all the work-related stresses of his day, just leaving one stress remaining; the most important one to him, the one that tugged at his heart.

He pulled the shower screen aside and climbed in with her, pulling her wet form against him, wrapping his arms around her tight.

They didn't say a word while they were in there, they just held and comforted each other in a way that didn't need words.

When Harm reached over and turned off the now-cold water, Mac roused herself from where she had settled against his left shoulder. She didn't complain when he stepped out of the shower, wrapped a towel round his waist, before he grabbed one for her, wrapping it around her and lifting her into his arms.

He set her down on their bed then lay beside her, both not caring the slightest about getting the bedspread wet. They just lay there for a little while, her wrapped in his arms again, dripping water all over the sheets.

OOOO


	2. Chapter 2

OOOO

Part 2

"How long before me did Doctor Scott call?" Harm finally spoke up.

"He called about twenty minutes after you did," Mac told him honestly, looking him in the eye.

"But I thought you already knew," Harm frowned, "When I called, the way you sounded…I just thought you must already know…"

"I did," Mac sighed, "By the time I got up this morning, my period had already started…I just thought I'd wait to have it confirmed. But I guess there was no need to wait really, when I knew for certain. I'm sorry."

"There's nothing you need to apologize for," Harm told her, firmly, "It's understandable that you needed some time to absorb all of this…Mattie called me before I took off from DC. She said you two met up for lunch."

"Yeah," Mac nodded, now feeling strangely unemotional, "She could tell that something was wrong, I'm sure, but I just told her that we hadn't heard from Doctor Scott, yet. I wanted to tell you, first…but I do regret lying to her."

"People lie to their kids about plenty of things," Harm soothed her, stroking her wet hair, "It's called protecting them. We'll tell her, but in our own time. She's leaving in a few days though…"

"That was troubling me, too," Mac nodded, "How can we give her this news and then just send her on her way to a three month deployment?"

Harm shook his head, as if to say, 'I don't know.'

Mattie was a daughter to both of them, even though she'd done the majority of her physical growing before either of them knew her. They didn't want to do anything that might harm her. But how could they not tell her?

"She'll put two and two together, soon," Mac chewed her bottom lip and Harm nodded in agreement, adding, "Yeah, as soon as we don't rush around there with exciting news. We could tell her that the doctor never got back to us or that the lab lost our results, but…

"It would only be another lie and it would only delay the inevitable…" Mac finished for him, "Now I've had time to process everything, I think we're going to have to tell her soon and the sooner the better. I want enough time to help her work through this, before she ships out."

With a resigned sigh, Mac got up off the bed and set about getting ready for bed.

"You tired?" Harm asked, watching her weary movements.

"More than you could imagine," Mac confirmed.

"How about you leave telling Mattie to me?" Harm suggested, "If I know her, she's going to call soon because her patience has worn thin. We'll arrange some time to get together after work tomorrow and talk about this."

"Yeah, okay," Mac accepted and Harm helped her to climb into bed.

Before he left, Harm stopped a minute to brush the hair back from her face, tenderly.

"I don't know why this has proved to be so hard for us," he told her, softly, "But no matter what happens, we're going to be okay, Sarah. It's hard to see, now, but we'll be okay."

Mac nodded and shut her eyes, willing herself to feel something. When Harm thought she was asleep and had left the room, she opened her eyes again, contemplating the room around her, willing some emotion to come through. She felt nothing, even when the phone began to ring in the other room. She heard Harm pick it up and greet their daughter.

"Hi Matts," he kept his voice down, but Mac could still hear him clearly.

"Yeah, your Mom's already gone to bed, I'm afraid…She's had a long day, she's in need of an early night…Yeah, Doctor Scott did call us, today. I found the message on the answer machine when I got home…She's understandably overwhelmed, but I think she's okay. But all this means is that we try again. Doc Scott told us to arrange another appointment in a month's time to talk over our options. We can always go with the in-vitro again. Our chances are just as good as last time…"

Mac lapsed into sleep at this…

When Mac woke up the next morning, she was a little disoriented, because the dream she'd had just before waking had been so real.

She had seemed to be quite a bit older in the dream and she'd been sent to investigate a mishap aboard the Seahawk (why she was investigating a mishap of this sort was beyond her, but anyway...) As she'd left the COD, removing her gear as she went, she'd looked up to see Harm. He had a few more lines around his eyes and his hair wasn't quite as dark as she remembered it, but he still had that smile that threatened to turn her legs to rubber beneath her. He greeted her warmly, not as one officer would greet another, but not as a husband would greet his wife, either. However, in the dream, this hadn't struck her as odd.

"Hey Mac, I see you made it to Brigadier General," Harm smiled at her, pointing to the silver eagles on her shoulders, "Congratulations!"

Mac had merely smiled, but said nothing in the course of this whole dream.

What passed was extremely bizarre, but Mac seemed to be involved in an investigation that included the input of Harm, Mattie, Trish and Frank Burnett, Bud, Harriet, Sturgis, AJ Chegwidden, Gordon Cresswell and nearly every other officer that they had worked with at JAG Headquarters in Virginia. In the end, she'd obtained her conclusion and was preparing to go home. Harm had caught her before she'd left to catch the COD, asking to speak with her.

"I just want to thank you, Mac," he had told her, "For the longest time, I didn't understand and couldn't accept what you had done, but now I see. You did it for me and I appreciate that. If you hadn't, I never would have been forced to get on with life. If you hadn't made the right decision, the twins wouldn't be here. I have a family now and without you; that never would have happened. You went through so much pain doing what you thought was right, but you still gave me that gift, anyway. You knew how much having a family meant to me and no matter what it would result in for you, you gave that to me. You'll never know how much that meant to me, Sarah…"

Mac woke up with his words still ringing in her ears…what did this mean?

OOOO


	3. Chapter 3

OOOO

Part 3

She lay contemplating what this dream meant for a few minutes, then her attention was snatched by Harm's wandering hands. They slipped unnoticed around her and up under her pajama top, before Mac realized. Part of her would have liked to feel wanted and desirable, just now, but she knew that they probably shouldn't, just now. They had so much they still needed to talk about and besides, Mac had never really felt all that amorous during this time of the month.

"Harm, Honey," she gently took his hands away, "Not now…"

Harm didn't seem to be offended and wrapped his arms around her, holding her, showing he loved her, but respecting her decision.

"You're probably right," he dropped a kiss to her hair, "it's not the right time, just now…"

OOOO

Mac was surprised when Mattie appeared while they were getting ready for work. She was still in her pajamas and set about getting herself some breakfast.

"Hey Matts!" Mac smiled, "I didn't know you were here…I would have made you some breakfast…"

"It's okay," Mattie came and gave her a hug, "I came late last night. You were already asleep. I just wanted to come home…"

Mac hugged her daughter back with all the warmth she could muster while she felt this hollow inside. She knew that Mattie must be hurting, but she was too incredibly confused about her own lack of feelings to be able to react with total sympathy towards Mattie.

"Welcome home," she told her, "I'm sorry that I have to go to work and leave all of this behind me, but we'll talk when I get home and we're going to move through this together. You, me and your Dad."

That family talk didn't happen, though, because Harm got orders to go back to DC before the end of the day.

"This couldn't come at a worse time," Harm complained bitterly, from the sanctuary of his office, "I don't want to leave you and Mattie right now, but they need me to diffuse some political time-bomb."

"Harm," she'd smiled, "You need to go. Mattie and I will be fine; She and I wil;l have that talk then once your day is over then we'll call you to talk about our conversation. We can still make decisions, even with you on the other coast…"

"But I don't want to be away from you…we're going through this together, we should be there for each other…"

"Harm, I'm not going to fall apart!"

"I'm not trying to take anything away from you, Sarah, I know how much you're hurting right, now, but I need this, too. I'm hurting, as well…"

"Yes, I'm sorry… I know you are, Harm. But we've both got a duty to our country, even if that does entail bureaucracy and we've got to do it. I'll call you tonight, once Mattie has come home and we'll speak about it then…"

"I'm going to miss the two of you…"

"We'll miss you too, but if you don't leave for your plane, honey, the SECNAV is going to ream you a new one…"

"Okay, Sweetie. I love you and Mattie and I'll speak to you, soon."

"I love you too, Harm. Safe journey."

Mac lay on their bed, waiting for Mattie to come home. When she heard Mattie's keys in the door, she couldn't quite bring herself to get up, so she stayed where she was.

"Mom?" she heard Mattie ask, loudly.

"I'm in here," Mac called her to the bedroom.

"Hey," Mattie regarded her from the doorway, "You tired?"

"Yeah," Mac nodded and Mattie knew instinctively that it was much more than just physical exhaustion. She had seen that her mother had dropped everything en route to the bedroom, leaving it where it landed, something she normally never did.

Mattie just crawled over beside her, laying down and snuggling into her side.

Mac lifted an arm and cradled Mattie's head with it, stroking her hair.

"You too tired to talk?" Mattie asked.

"No," Mac shook her head, "I just needed somewhere quiet and peaceful to think things through for a while.

"Fertility-related things?"

Mac nodded.

"So you and Dad are going to make an appointment with Doctor Scott and find out what your options are?"

"I think we're going to leave it a few weeks," Mac told her, "We still need some time to get our heads around this and your Dad isn't going to do that while he's being run ragged by all the congress men and women on Capitol Hill."

"Of course," Mattie nodded as she pulled her Mom closer.

She had seen how exhausting this had all been for her, how much energy it had taken from her. The best thing for her now was to rest.

The two of them were fast asleep by the time that the phone rang. Mac came to her senses quicker and reached for the receiver.

"Harm?"

It was phrased as a question, but she knew there was little possibility that it was anyone else.

"Yeah, it's me. How you doing, Honey?"

"We're okay. Mattie's here with me, if you want to talk to her?"

"Yeah, okay…" Harm sounded a little indecisive, but decided that he'd speak to their daughter first, before he asked for some alone time with his wife.

"Hey Matts," his voice sounded glad to hear her, but she knew that he had to be feeling pretty low at the moment.

"Hi Dad," Mattie replied, "You doing okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine," Harm assured her, "Just the usual bunch of congressmen and women, causing ructions…you know how it is. You sound tired, were you asleep?"

"Mom and I fell asleep soon after I got in."

"I'm sorry, kiddo."

"No, I want to talk to you, we both do…"

"I know things seem pretty bleak right now," Harm comforted their daughter, when she trailed off into silence, "but I don't want you to worry yourself while you're on the Seahawk. Mac and I are going to go back to Doctor Scott and he's going to help us make some decisions about what we're going to do next, okay?"

"Yeah," Mattie nodded, knowing that her Mom could probably hear what they were saying. She wanted both of them to know that she'd be okay, while they wouldn't be around to support her. She was fully grown now, but there were just some things that only a parent could help you with, especially something they had all invested in.

"Don't you worry yourself about us," Harm continued, "Your Mom and I are going to take care of each other like we always do and somehow, we're all going to get through this..."

They talked for a couple more minutes then Harm requested to talk to Mac again. Mattie left the room to go shower and get ready for bed, sensing that this was a talk they'd need to have in privacy. Mac was glad that she didn't have to ask Mattie to leave. What she had to say was going to be hard enough for her to say and for Harm to hear.

"Hey Sarah. How about you?" Harm asked, "Are you okay?"

"Feeling a little drained," Mac told him, "but I'm okay. I think this is starting to sink in, now. I'm beginning to accept it…"

"We will be alright, Sarah. Doctor Scott said that our chances probably haven't diminished any, so we can try again…"

"Yeah, haven't diminished from what they were. They're near impossible odds, Harm."

"They're not completely impossible, though."

"And there's the cost of this all. Do you have any idea how big the chunk was that was taken out of our savings? We've got to think about the future…"

"My Mom and Frank have always said they'll help us out, if we ever need it."

"And it's not just the money, Harm. This takes so much out of me…"

"I know, Honey. I'm sorry that you're going through so much. This is our dream and yet it seems that you're the one shouldering most of the burden. But this might work out for us…"

"It hasn't, not the first, second or third time, Harm…I just don't think I can go through this again."

"Don't make any decisions this soon after the negative test-result, Sarah. You're not in the best frame of mind and you've been through so much…"

"I can't do it, anymore, Harm…"

There was silence over the line for a second then Harm sighed, deeply.

"I know how tired you are, Honey," he tried to put all his feelings aside and just focus on her, "I know that these past two years have been absolute hell for you. But all I ask is that you don't makes any decision until I get home and we can talk about this together, face-to-face. If you still feel that way a month down the line, then I'll understand. I'd never push you to do anything you didn't want to or couldn't face…I won't push you to say yes, but just don't say no, either. Just for now."

"Yeah," Mac wiped the tears away with the back of her hand, taking a deep, calming breath, "You're right. We shouldn't make any decisions now, it's too soon after…after everything."

"Okay," Harm, "I love you, Sarah, but I'm going to have to go. I've got a dinner meeting with Congressman Richards…"

"I love you too, Harm, " Mac told him, "Mattie and I will be okay until you get home."

Long after the connection was lost, Harm and Mac sat perfectly still thinking almost in tandem, on separate coasts.

OOOO


	4. Chapter 4

OOOO

Part 4

It was nearly three days before Harm could get back to DC. He was just in time to wave Mattie off on her deployment and by the time that they got back home, Harm and Mac were both exhausted. Before they fell asleep, though, Harm asked Mac if she thought she'd be able to take some time off work.

"I don't know…" Mac responded, at first, "I guess there isn't anything major that my senior staff can't oversee…what were you thinking about?"

"How about a trip to DC?" Harm suggested, "We can see all our friends. Bud and Harriet would love to see us and it's been so long since we saw any of the kids. We could even take a couple of days to go up to Bellesville and see Grams. She may be older and slower, but she still complains about our lack of visiting, just the same…"

"Yeah," Mac nodded in agreement, "That sounds nice."

OOOO

Two days later, they were in the Roberts' family's back yard, watching all of the children play.

"They've all gotten so big!" Mac exclaimed, "I can't get over how much we've missed."

"We'll have to make the trip more often," Harm agreed.

Bud and Harriet said they understood how hard it was for Harm and Mac to get away when they both had command-positions, but it was equally difficult for them to get away from DC and not to mention very expensive with four kids on tow.

Harriet could sense something was up between the two of them, although experience told her that they were working through it together, not pushing each other away anymore. She didn't ask anything, though, waiting for Mac to confide in her when she felt ready.

Harm and Mac spent a wonderful weekend up in Bellesville with his Grams then came back to DC to do more visiting for the second week. It was during a shopping trip with Harriet (Bud and Harm had volunteered to look after the kids while they took some girl-time) that Mac finally came out with all that had been going on, over the last two years.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Mac," Harriet dropped the bags and wrapped her arms around Mac, "It sounds like you've been through hell."

"It has been hell," Mac admitted aloud, for the first time, "but Harm has been there every step of the way. He's been great, but…but I don't think I can do this again."

"You don't have to do anything, right away," Harriet soothed her, "You can take as long as you want to decide if you're ready to take the next step, whatever that might be…"

"Sometimes I think Harm would be better off without me," Mac shook her head, but Harriet shushed her immediately.

"Harm would be miserable without you and you know it, Mac. His life was never complete without you in it, even when you were just best friends."

Mac knew Harriet was right, but thoughts of that dream were still going around and around in her head. Would Harm really be better without her, able to pursue his wish of a family of his own?

OOOO

Harm and Mac just dumped their suitcases in the corner of the room, not bothering to unpack before they got ready for bed. They had clean uniforms for work the next day and a few clean outfits to wear outside of work, so they wouldn't worry about all of the laundry they had to do just now.

OOOO

It was nearly three weeks later that Harm broached the subject.

"Have you given any thought about how we're going to move forward, Sarah?"

Mac was caught a bit by surprise, but Harm had been very patient waiting for her to recover from the blow that had been dealt.

"Uh, I suppose that I have been thinking about it…" Mac tried to find a way to tell Harm, while causing as little hurt as possible, "It's not been easy…but, Harm…I don't feel any differently now to how I felt right after we got the news…"

"You don't want to try the IVF again?" Harm tried not to show how his heart was breaking at her words.

"No," Mac felt conflicted, "I'm so sorry, Harm…I can't go through that again, not when our hopes are so small. It would just be too much to bear, to get that negative result again, after all that we've gone through. I'm so sorry I can't give you the family you want…"

"The only thing I want is to be a family with you and Mattie," Harm cradled her face in his hands and wiped away her tears, "Whatever else comes along is a bonus, but I couldn't live without you and Mattie, I couldn't."

"You'd be better off without me," Mac finally admitted what had been bothering her for weeks now, since she had first had that dream.

"Don't say that," Harm looked genuinely upset at her words, "I don't want any kind of life unless you're in it. I've got Mattie, I've got our beautiful Godchildren, I've got the career that would have made my Dad so proud, but none of it would be right unless you're here to share it with me…I mean it Mac, I couldn't live without you. My heart only beats to keep time with yours…"

He took her into his arms and carried her through to their bedroom and proceeded to show her in actions just how beautiful she made his life.

OOOO

Mac thought that she'd finally managed to get past this dream that had plagued her in the weeks, now. She'd stopped having the dream, but now her nightmare began to encroach on her waking hours, too.

Mac was in the kitchen one Saturday night, trying to get the kitchen disposal unit unblocked. She gave a huff as she threw down the wooden spoon that obviously wasn't working. But she'd be damned if she was going to stick her fingers down there. Harm had gone on a rare night out, as somebody under his command was getting married the next week. She sincerely hoped that this bachelor party didn't get too out of hand and that she wouldn't have to go and bail them all out of jail.

The disposal unit didn't turn on when she flipped the switch, but Mac gave an involuntary squeak as she heard something unexpected; it sounded something like a scream, or some sort of shriek and it had come from Mattie's bedroom. Mac spun round, her eyes fixed on Mattie's bedroom door, standing stock-still.

'What on earth!' Mac thought to herself, 'Did I really hear that?'

All was quiet for a minute then Mac flinched as the door flew open and two young children ran out, shrieking and whooping joyously. The first child, a little girl with blond, curly hair was being closely followed by a little boy who seemed to be chasing her, although the two seemed to be having fun. The boy and girl were around the same age and height, the little boy had a head of similarly blond, curly hair, that looked as wild as his nature. They disappeared into the living room in a mere second and Mac stood still for a while, barely able to comprehend what had just happened.

What had those two children been doing in her house, in Mattie's room? It couldn't be, could it?

Mac took off running to the living room, but was perplexed when she found nothing. She checked behind the sofa and underneath the table, but there was no sign of either little wild-child. And Mac knew that they couldn't possibly have gotten out other than to go the way she had come. She check every other possible hiding place in the house, before she was satisfied that nobody else was there and that she must have been imagining it…But she was a United States Marine! This just couldn't be happening…

OOOO


	5. Chapter 5

OOOO

Part 5

Harm rolled into bed around three, that morning and Mac made no mention of what she had obviously imagined, that evening. If she told him that she was seeing imaginary little people running around their house, he would surely have her committed!

Harm rolled over until he was right next to her, then molded his front to her back and began nuzzle the back of her neck.

"I don't know what you think you're doing, Admiral, but if you think I'm into a drunken man getting fresh with me, you can think again…"

"I'm not drunk, Mac."

"Oh, no?"

"Sober as a judge, honestly."

"How many?"

"None…None at all…"

Here, Mac turned over.

"So then, you have no problem with your alcoholic wife kissing you, when you've had 'none at all'?"

"Sure, go ahead," Harm replied, easily.

"You really haven't had anything to drink?" Mac regarded him in the darkness, "But it was a bachelor party…You really didn't get tanked?"

"I pretended that my drink was alcoholic, even though it wasn't," Harm revealed, "I'd rather come home to my beautiful wife than get hammered and sleep on the couch."

They both laughed at the term he had used and Harm suggested,

"Hey, maybe that's why my Dad's squadron chose the name for him…"

"Not even one?" Mac marveled, gazing at Harm before she noticed the glint in his eye, "I'd say that somebody was hoping to get lucky…"

Harm just grinned and said, "Well, since you brought it up…"

"Hey, mister," Mac halted him, "I'd better not have you drunkenly groping me any time in the near future, you hear me?"

"Duly noted," Harm nodded, adding, "And that's mister Admiral, thank you very much. I'm the superior officer here…"

"Yes, Sir," Mac grinned, sassily then gave a shriek of laughter as he expertly rolled her underneath him.

OOOO

By the end of the week, Mac was daring to believe that her 'daydream' must have been something brought on by sleep deprivation. That was the only explanation she could find for something this crazy…at least, the only explanation she could come up with, other than that she really had flipped her flop!

Mac had just finished her weekly staff meeting and all the important cases were assigned. She had noted a few that she'd have to keep an eye on, either because they were high profile or because they were assigned to a junior officer. Everyone had filed out of the room and Mac was making her way to her office. Her petty officer had gone to the break room to get her coffee and Mac was looking down at a report faxed in that morning from the SECNAV as she entered her office. She didn't even have chance to shut the door before she noticed the two children seated on top of her desk. Mac's mouth fell open as she stared at the two small figures, who didn't seem to notice she was there. Before Mac could find something to say, the little girl looked up from where she was coloring with a marker and gasped, looking to the little boy facing her, coloring away on his own piece of paper.

"What?" the boy looked up, seeing his playmate's horrified expression.

Mac could see ahead of time that this was a prank, for there was nothing unusual about the boy's appearance, other than his wild blond curls, but she watched on in curiosity.

The little girl just pointed to an imaginary mark on his shirt and the boy reflexively looked down at his shirt, just in time to catch the girl's finger flicking up and across his nose.

Both kids broke into hysterical laughter, finding the joke obviously much more amusing than any adult would! Mac remained silent until she gave a gasp, as the little boy laughed so much that he fell right off the desk and onto the carpeted floor. The little girl ceased her laughing, peered over the edge of the desk and upon confirming the boy was not hurt, broke into even harder laughter, which the boy joined her in. Mac couldn't help but laugh, too, until she heard the petty officer behind her.

"What's so funny, Ma'am?"

'Damn, I wish I'd shut that door…'

Mac fumbled for a second, before dismissing, "Uh, just...the SECNAV, petty officer. It's nothing important…thank you for the coffee, you're dismissed."

Mac closed the door firmly, before risking another look at her desk. Of course, it was just as she'd left it before the staff-meeting, with no sign of the two little hurricanes…

OOOO

Mac sighed as she shook her head, walking in the front door. By now, she'd convinced herself that she was going positively loopy. She quickly went to her bedroom to change and after that, she began to prepare dinner. She was halfway through dinner when the phone rang.

"Hello."

"Hey Babe, it's me…" Harm's rich, deep voice spoke up over the line.

"Hey there!" Mac greeted him, "I was just putting the lasagna in the oven."

"Great!" Harm enthused, "My favorite! I may be a little bit later than originally planned, though. I have to stop off somewhere on my way home, but I'll be as quick as I can."

"Okay, no problem," Mac assured him.

She hung up and turned around to grab the salad ingredients from the fridge, only to stop dead in her tracks.

The two little imaginary children were back, seated in front of the refrigerator. This time, they didn't look quite as old as during the last spell, around kindergarten age or so.

"My turn!" the little girl shouted, as the boy ran his finger around the inner edge of a mixing bowl. Obviously, they were supposed to be sharing whatever batter was left inside, but the boy refused to relinquish it.

"My turn!" the girl insisted, louder.

The boy responded by lifting the big bowl to his mouth and dragging his tongue across what surface he could reach.

"Ewww!" the girl screwed up her face.

An evil grin spread across the boy's features and he picked up the wooden spoon beside him that had already been licked clean. He proceeded to lick it and push it in her direction. The girl let out a scream and quickly ran out of the kitchen, the boy hot on her trail.

Again, Mac stood still for a couple of minutes, but this time she didn't leave the kitchen and check the rest of the house. She knew that it would be pointless. She'd find nothing and instead convince herself that she was going doo-lally. No, Mac stayed in the kitchen and continued with her dinner preparations.

OOOO


	6. Chapter 6

OOOO

Part 6

"Is something wrong, Mac?" Harm asked, when she had hardly said a word and had only picked at her dinner.

"What? No, nothing's wrong…Why?"

"You just seem…quiet. And you've hardly touched your food."

"Oh, I'm just not that hungry. I'm tired actually, I think I just need to get some sleep."

"Well, I had different plans for after dinner, but if you really need the rest, I don't mind curtailing our night here…Dessert can wait…"

Mac completely missed the teasing, flirty look he was giving her and got to her feet, dropping a kiss onto his cheek and shuffling off towards their bedroom.

"Thanks…G'night…"

Harm looked perplexed as he watched the bedroom door close behind her. He just chalked it up to her having a bad day and knew not to take it personally. He got to his own feet and set about clearing all of the dishes.

OOOO

Mac woke up for the second time, the next morning with an unexplained sense of calm. Sure, she'd spent the better part of the morning making long, languishing, half-asleep love with her husband, but that didn't go all the way in explaining it. Mac felt so well rested, despite that morning's activities, but she knew that she'd also had a long night of dreams. She didn't rightly recall what she had dreamt about, but she instinctively knew that she had done so. She turned over and faced the doorway, which Harm had left open when he had gone for a run, an hour before. He'd asked if she felt like coming along, but Mac was quite happy to decline. Since the compulsion didn't often hit her, she had decided to take advantage of it and had cuddled back into her pillow and had promptly fallen back to sleep. Now, nearly an hour later, Mac knew that Harm would be at least another half-hour, so couldn't pinpoint exactly what had woken her up. The sunshine was pouring in the open blinds, but she felt more sleepy than irritated by it. It was kinda nice to relax in the warm caress of the morning sun. As she squinted through the sunlight, something at the edge of the bed caught her attention. A little blond head popped up, quickly followed by another.

"What are you doing up, my little hurricanes?" Mac asked, without thinking.

"Couldn't sleep, Momma…"

"Can we come in wif' you?"

Mac couldn't pinpoint which sentence had come from which child, but she scooted over and pulled back the covers with a smile. The two children scurried in and settled, one behind the other, right next to her.

Mac settled the covers around them then stretched her uppermost arm around the two of them, putting her head back on the pillow and closing her eyes. They drifted open again, lazily as each child softly spoke up.

"Love you, Momma."

"Love you, Momma."

She smiled, still squinting against the light and suddenly everything made sense.

The dreams of the previous night came back to her, as did the daytime visions; they were random glimpses into the future. She remembered everything; every kiss, every cuddle, every pre-term kick, every cold, every two-o'clock diaper change, every bubble-filled bath, every tantrum, every tear and every single suckle from her breast.

"I love you too, my Angels."

OOOO

When Mac next came to, Harm was back in the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bad, taking off his training shoes.

"I'm just going to grab a shower, then how about we go pay a visit to our favorite God-children?"

"Sounds great," Mac smiled, watching him as he stripped it down before going to the shower.

Once the sound of the running water started, Mac rolled over onto her back, looking again to the sunshine that was still coming through the open blinds.

She smiled a secret, knowing smile, as she ran a hand over her flat tummy, one thought running through her mind.

"Harm's not going to believe this!"

FIN


End file.
